Life is filled with difficulty, tragedy, malevolence, violence and betrayal. It is dangerous on many levels and requires firm self-mastery to navigate. The good news is that it is well suited to us, as men, in that it helps us to become better if we persevere in self-mastery. The other news? Sometimes you have to recognize when to take a break, re-group, take stock of your provisions and plan your next series of decisions and moves.
A quick story: A man is building a business. He’s struggling, learning, working, encountering and overcoming setbacks, mastering doubt and uncertainty. In desperation for encouragement he reaches out to a close friend. They meet, by chance, in a parking lot and are seated side by side in his friend’s car. The man says to his friend, “When was your lowest moment, recently?” His friend turns to him, smiles, and says, “5 minutes ago.” The man sees that his friend is now missing his two front teeth. His friend’s bridgework had collapsed or broken somehow and he looked like a prizefighter who had taken too many straight shots to the mouth. Think Leon Spinks.
Both funny and sad. Like, a Special Forces friend of mine says, a clown on fire.
There is a saying that difficulties come to us in 3’s. Let’s take a hypothetical example: Your wife gets a crippling injury, you get a debilitating illness (not permanent, not terminal, it just lays you out flat on your back so you can do nothing…not even think… for… say… 7-10 days) and then when you think you have mastered those challenges, you find out… say… that you have a cracked crown on a tooth and you can’t delay getting it repaired any longer than the two years you have already delayed so you can tend to your children’s teeth.
Sound familiar? It’s probably quite common.
This is when growth, experience and life have humbled you. You must slow down, trust those who are around you to understand, detach from the moment, and re-group. Maybe even take a complete break, go to full stop, and prepare for the next round of full contact games of life. The beauty is that if you do this correctly and have the wisdom to stop, you’ll return stronger, better, more adroit, abler than before. Oh, and…
More HUMBLE. Humility makes all learning possible.
Beginning today, we at AM are taking a 30-day break. Our experiment—The AM Project-- has yielded valuable, actionable lessons and we are excited about the future, but we are going to detach and plan our next moves. You may continue to see our classic content posted on social media, but we are not publishing anything new for 30 days while we make some changes.
However, just so you know we’re not complete slackers, here are some of the topics we’ll be covering when we return, at least on The Good News About Men front:
We live our lives by codes.
We speak well of others.
We can detach.
We can be happy where we are.
We study our lives.
We use gambling metaphors.
We trust you to understand. The future is bright and we are looking forward to our role in that future, as you should look forward to yours. There is a Masculine Renaissance underway and it’s high bloody time.
Be bold, be authentic, be masculine… and see you in a month.
PS: A note about the image for this post—It is a Greek statue called, “The Boxer”. Research it. You’ll be glad you did.